Does It Really Work?

For the past two months I have been reading over and through, and back over again, Ann Voskamp's book one thousand gifts.  

Giving thanks in all circumstances.  Searching out 1000 things to give thanks for.  Then finding more. 

It works.  As I have dealt with the loneliness for new friendships since our move, endure the neverending  drama of three teenagers, try and handle living life in an apartment, and mostly miss my husband as he travels so much this time of year, I have found that YES, it does work.  It's quite simple.  It is also everything I grew up learning from my parents - give thanks.  I am by nature a thanks giver, yet this determined act of giving thanks for at least three things each day is slowly causing a soul shift.  You see, the more I give thanks, the more things I find to give thanks for. 

1.   Three beautiful and awesome teenagers.
2.   A husband who runs all the grocery errands.
3.   The clouds in the sky today all melded together in oranges, and yellows and even blues.

Try it - I dare you!

So, I went to Haiti.....

It was comical.  Really.  Not kidding.

The week before I left for Haiti here is what happened - Biopsies for cervical cancer the day before I flew out, my car died ($1000.00 in repairs) and when we filed our taxes we found out someone had stolen my SSN and already filed a tax return in my name.   As you can imagine, I was mentally and spiritually exhausted.  I had never gone into a mission trip that way.  Yet, I thought I was "fine" and everything was just "okay".

Haiti was amazing.  It is impossible for me to explain to you the experience I had there.  The children, the school, the market, the "family" of people that were serving with me - all such an incredible experience.    Yet, I came back feeling defeated.  I wasn't a good witness.  I was not the "ball of fire" for Jesus that I wanted to be.

I did the physical labor and I think I did it well, but I was so spiritually dead the entire time, that I fell under attack.  I hope there are those of you who understand what I am trying to say.  The mission was accomplished, but I did not grow nor did I positively affect those around me.

And so, guess what?  God is good - and I came out the other side of this trip stronger.  

Just because I was on a mission trip did not mean I was a spiritual superhero - quite the opposite.  I learned that I am weak and He is strong.  I learned that His mercies are new every day and ultimately I learned that my call to missions still is strong and that this trip was a time for me to grow and learn.

Thank you all SO much for your prayers and support.  It was a chance of a lifetime and I we are now sponsoring a little boy there.  His name is Davidson.  Please pray for him.

I love you all and I love that God is a God of second chances.

Here are some photos:  Haiti 2012.

Also, there are some great photos of this trip on my Facebook Page - Melissa Shields Brown.

Love to you all!!!  Melissa