The last few months have been overwhelming, stressful, tiresome and sometimes just plain out exhausting. And guess what? I am so grateful! I am grateful because I have been getting to really experience true life - new circumstances, a new job, teach a 16 year old boy how to drive (or maybe not), learn how to care for an elderly father, and see our finances s-t-r-e-t-c-h-e-d to an all time "stretchiness". :)
You see, I always have prided myself on not being attached to "things", not worrying about having the "big house", "nice car" or "having to have more", but through the last few months God has shown me the areas where I do hold onto the things of the this world and the areas where I need to let go. He has shown me the places in my heart where I do want "more" for my kids. Well, what is this "more" that I want for them? Seriously? More money, more acknowledgment, more friends, more academic success? Not that these things are bad in-and-of-themselves, but are really the true morals I want to pass onto my children. As my girls would say "heck-to the-no!".
I want to pass onto my children the simple things of this very short life we live. Growing a garden, visiting with friends, listening to the people around them who need an "ear", going for walks, cooking together, being silly, learning to appreciate silence and not the constant noise of radio and TV, taking a meal to a friend in need, porch-sitting, etc. But most of all to love their Heavenly Father.
So, all-in-all, even though the past few months have been some of the most trying of my life I have tried to listen to what the Lord is teaching me and I think I am finally starting to get it. It will never matter how big my house is, how large my salary is or what car I drive. Never. What will matter is that I spent time with my kids, my husband and my father in his last years. What will matter is that my kids don't see me preaching one thing to them, but striving for another. I am in a hard place right now (I would put it up there with my Mother and Brother passing away), but it is a joyful place at the same time because I have had to give it ALL over to God and just let go........
