What Have You Learned?

Is it just me or were our parents right?   I sure do remember mine telling me to enjoy my childhood - that it wouldn't last long.  Boy,  they were right about that!  I also remember them telling me they knew more about life because they had lived it, and I remember thinking I didn't want to know that they did.  You know why? -  because I "knew" more. I was smart, I was educated and  I was going to change things!  I was going to be different!  I was going to be a better parent, a better spouse and a better person for my community.  I was going to help change things, but first and foremost I was going to have a much more exciting life!  I was going to go places, do things, and never, EVER think like my parents did.  

And now I am 40.  I am married.  I have three kids.  I haven't  "changed" things much that I know of, except a lot of diapers and my hair color.  And, to beat the band, I find myself thinking and saying the same ridiculous things my parents did, except they don't sound so ridiculous anymore.  They sort of ring true.   And the ringing in my ears of the "truth" of their words, has a certain bite.   No matter how true, there is still the bite!

But, the bite for me, honestly and much to my dismay, is not that they were right.  Oh no! the bite for me is that I know they were right.  You see, I miss the slow pace and smallness and security of the world I grew up in!  I miss the fact that without a doubt I could meet up with my best friend on our bicycles every day after school.  I miss going out to the garden with my mom during the summer to pick the ripest tomato for lunch (yes, that was our lunch, along with some slices of white bread and mayonnaise.)   I miss the fact that I knew we were going to sit down as a family every night and eat dinner, and I even miss the fact that I had to clean EVERY Saturday morning without fail.   My most favorite is the fact that no matter what, we were going to go to church every Sunday morning as a family. Those were some of my best memories.

Our world is so vastly different today.   I have given up any chances of a career for 15 years in order to be at home with my kids and STILL can't seem to find the time to make sure we have dinner together EVERY evening.  As hard as I try, I still can't seem to keep up with the pace of our lives.   As educated and willful as I have always been against such a fast-paced culture, I still can't help but be sucked in!   And honestly, I can't even at this point put into words what I feel inside.

All I know is this - Lord, help us.  Help us to slow down.  Help us to live simply.  Help us to go visit with someone on a Sunday afternoon without thinking about where we need to be next.   Help us to sit on our porch and talk with our kids and tell them how things "used to be"..............

Are You Joking Me?

Last week a friend of mine was telling me about a lady at our church who makes prayer shawls.  She told me what a ministry it was for this lady and how much comfort and love people feel when they receive one.  They are not "magic" nor do they make you "closer to God", but they are a symbol of positioning ourselves in prayer and reminding ourselves that we are covered by God.  

Long story short, I wanted one.  I thought "that is so cool!".   I wanted to ask the lady at our church for one, but didn't want to impose upon her, so the thought left my mind........until today!   No joke, look what was on my porch when I got home.   I told NO ONE about wanting one of these, but guess what???  God heard me!   He loves me so much he sent me a prayer shawl from the wife of a co-worker of Chris who lives in Knoxville, Tennessee.   I laughed out loud as I opened the box!!!

Unshaken

Over the past week I have had many people ask me how I have remained so positive during the health issues I have been facing.   I sat down tonight and tried to put some thought into that.    Why have I not been fearful?   Why am I not spending time worrying about the outcome?   Let me tell you why.   I BELIEVE God.   Very simple.  I believe His Word and I believe in Him.

Let me tell you, getting to this place in my life has been a long hard road - and it came at some very big expenses and tolls on my marriage and family, but I wouldn't trade it for the world, because this is what I know - God is faithful.   No matter the outcome, He has a plan for you and for me!   So tonight I leave with you two passages of Scripture that are dear to me and I also pray that if you are feeling discouraged or down-trodden, that you turn you eyes upon Jesus.  Call upon Him.  He will answer - I promise.

II Corinthians  4:8 
We are experiencing trouble on every side, but are not crushed; we are perplexed, but not driven to despair;  we are persecuted, but not abandoned; we are knocked down, but not destroyed.


Psalm 62: 1-8
¹ My soul finds rest in God alone;
       my salvation comes from him.


 ² He alone is my rock and my salvation;
       he is my fortress, I will never be shaken.

 ³ How long will you assault a man?
       Would all of you throw him down—
       this leaning wall, this tottering fence?

 ⁴ They fully intend to topple him
       from his lofty place;
       they take delight in lies.
       With their mouths they bless,
       but in their hearts they curse.
       Selah

 ⁵ Find rest, O my soul, in God alone;
       my hope comes from him.

 ⁶ He alone is my rock and my salvation;
       he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.

 ⁷ My salvation and my honor depend on God ^[a] ;
       he is my mighty rock, my refuge.

 ⁸ Trust in him at all times, O people;
       pour out your hearts to him,
       for God is our refuge. 
       Selah

The Day God Whacked Me Over the Head! :)

So, in my usual hurried state, I left work last Friday at 1 p.m. got into my car to head to get some lunch for the kids and then rush home to start work at my second job by 2 p.m.   I got into the car, started it, drove to the edge of the parking lot to pull out onto the main road here in Winchester and BAM - cold sweat drenched my body, I felt like I was going to throw up, and the my left arm went completely tingly and partially numb.   WOW - let me tell you it was a scary feeling.  I immediately called Chris and stayed on the phone with him until I could drive myself to our home.    I went inside, told Abby something was not right and asked her to call her Dad back while I changed into more comfortable clothes and tried to lie down.   Chris in turn called my Dad and he came over and immediately took me to the hospital.  While at the E.R. I felt worse and thought I was going to pass out and also noticed that my left leg then went tingly and numb and that I was having trouble talking.  The left side of my face was drooping.   It was at that point I looked at my Dad and said "Daddy I am scared I might be having a stroke" and he replied with "yes, I think so too, but I didn't want to say anything."    I was monitored and given Ativan (in case it was an anxiety attack), taken for a CT scan and had an EKG - all results were normal, but still things were not right.  I was admitted to the hospital for monitoring overnight and then released the next day on a regimen of aspirin until I can get into a local cardiologist.  It was decided that I had suffered a TIA - even though they are fairly rare at my age and I don't have many of the factors that would predispose me to such an event.   A TIA is sort of a "warning stroke" - many people call them "mini-strokes".   They manifest all symptoms of a stroke, but do not cause any actual tissue damage in the brain - which is a very good thing.  Bad thing is that most people who suffer one, have a very high risk of suffering an actual stroke within the next year - sometimes within the next week.  

Now on a positive note - God has been so faithful to show me many things this past weekend as I have had the time to quietly listen and seek His voice.   I knew I needed to slow down.  Actually I had already withdrawn from most of my volunteer work at church and was looking at ways to minimize my work a little in order to lessen my stress.  With a husband who travels and 3 kids, it is very hard to hold down 2 jobs and manage the children's coming and goings to school and sport activities.   For those of you who know me well, you have probably heard me say over the past 6 months that I have been trying to discern God's will for me right now and where he wants me in ministry.  You have also heard me say many times "I wish he would write in on a big white board in the sky for me so I didn't have to try and figure it out on my own"!   HA!  It occurred to me as I was sitting with a dear friend on my porch yesterday morning, that he did just what I asked Him to do - only He wrote it on the white board and then whacked me over the head with it!  I love it! It made me laugh out loud.  You see, I am a fairly strong willed person and although I had been trying to lower my activity level and slow down in order to figure out where God needs me to serve him, I was only slowing down "just enough" to suit myself and still be able to do the things I wanted to do.   Well, my friends, it seems God has something entirely different in order for my life.   So, as I sit here this morning with time to blog, I ask for your prayers for my physical recovery but most importantly that I will now sit quietly and listen to what God has for me to do and obey His call WHEREVER it may be He is leading me.   He is so faithful and good to us and He knew exactly what it would take for Melissa to stop and listen.    So, I sit quietly before Him this morning and listen and wait upon Him to speak........

That feeling....

Is it only me or does this time of year evoke a feeling of new beginnings?  As the kids start their preparations of going back to school and we get all our supplies in order, I always feel the need to clean, organize and get a calendar together  detailing all our different schedules.    It makes me feel like somehow in control of what the school year brings.  

Control......what a word.    Let's think about control -

God is ultimately in control..........
We can't control other people - nor should we have the desire to.......
We can't control many circumstances, i.e. sickness, death, etc.......

But there is one thing that we are called to control and that is ourselves.   We are to have control over our own bodies and minds.    We are to control our anger, our eating, our drinking, and especially our tongues.   So, as we start this school year off tomorrow, I am making it my goal to to focus on controlling my situations or those around me - my husbands, my kids, etc., but to concentrate on what Christ tells me to concentrate on:   SELF-CONTROL.   Many people are in places of bitterness, resentment, anger or depression because they try to control things that are out of their control.  Wives want to change their husbands.  Moms want to change their kids.   Husbands want to change their wives.   Then, when this doesn't work, people are left wondering why.    The reason is because we are called only to control ourselves.    Today I encourage us all to take a look at our own lives and see what we might to be rein back into control.  Whatever it is, there is one things that remains true - through Christ we can bring our lives back into order and back under control.   His grace is never ending!    Thank you God!

"Better a patient man than a warrior, a man who controls his temper than one who takes a city."