Prayer for 2012

Cross Point Church has a prayer for all of its campuses this year.   This morning, I chose to make it my personal prayer for 2012.

"God change us.  God grow us.  God connect us."

That about sums it up, huh?   Can't think of much more I would ask of God this year.  It is my heart's desire - all three.

God change me - change my bad habits, my bad attitude, my selfishness, etc.
God grow me - grow my faith, my knowledge of you, my marriage, my mothering.
God connect us - bless me and my children with godly friendships, connect us with our church family and knit me closer to my husband and children.

What is your prayer for 2012?

My Flesh vs. My Desire to Please God

Romans 7:15
I don't really understand myself, for I want to what is right, but I don't do it.  Instead, I do what I hate.  

This is a verse I have ruminated on quite a bit throughout the course of my life.  It convicts and haunts me because I feel like much of my life has been spent living out this verse.   I wonder quite often what it could have been Paul did that he hated.  I know the things I do that I hate - getting aggravated and yelling at my children, time spent resenting my husband for all his time on the road, taking steps backwards in my faith when all I want to do is take steps forward.  Then there are things like becoming impatient with people at work or impatient when people's conversations take longer than I want them too.  The problem is this, these seemingly small things end up breeding bigger things.   Trust me.

This is why it is so important to daily take our junk to the cross.   Take it there and leave it there.  It seems lately that I have been wanting to hang on to my junk and I HATE when I get to that point.  I hate when I get to the point that I think my junk it too much for Jesus.  Do you have junk you think is too much for Jesus?  I know I do.  But, reality my friend is this. Nothing is too big for our Saviour!  Cry out to Him.  Find someone to share your burden with.  He loves you and cares for you.  This I know. 

Fear

Pete (our pastor) delivered a wonderful message this morning on "Fear" (crosspoint.tv)  It was so interesting to find out that the only two fears we are actually born with are the fear of falling and the fear of noises.  It seems that all of our other fears are fears that are "learned" or that we are conditioned to. 

As I meditated on fear and how we are likely to stay inside our comfort zones, it really hit home with me that I am this way with my marriage.  After 20 years of togetherness, it is easy to build up walls between each other and I realized that I am scared most of the time to let those walls down.  Opening up and allowing myself to be vulnerable to someone I have known over half my life shouldn't be that scary, yet it is. 

I am not afraid to parasail, jet ski, ride on motorcycles or fly overseas to a country I have never been to, but am afraid of opening my heart up sometimes.   It doesn't seem logical, yet it is a fear and one that I need to have enough faith to overcome. 

What are your fears?

Serving Haiti

I have an amazing opportunity to serve this coming February in Fond-des-Blanc, Haiti.  John Lovelace (a friend and one of my personal heroes) put me in contact with a group of people who are going to to Fond-des-Blanc to help work on a school building.  After putting me in contact with the group, he then pledged money to help send me.  :)   After putting much thought and prayer into it, my boss then told me she wanted to pledge some money to help me go.  Then another individual pledged more money and then another.  SO, I decided to go to an informational meeting about the trip last night (which was exciting, sort of scary in regards to aspects of the trip, but all in all, the deciding factor for me to take a step out in faith and GO.)  So, after I raise the rest of my money to go (approximately $500), I will be leaving February 8th to head to Haiti!   Exciting, scary, and a little overwhelming.  Everyone who knows me knows that my heart is in missions and so this is a very happy and humbling opportunity for me.   If you are interested in helping me make my way to Haiti this February, please message me and I will give you more information as to the aspect of the trip.   Love and blessings to all ~  Melissa

What a beautiful day today with my family walking the woods at Radnor Lake.   I asked God this morning to show Himself to me today and also give me the eyes to see.  And boy did He.  He showed Himself to me while browsing all the beautiful pumpkins, vegetables and fruit at the Farmers Market.  He showed Himself to me in moments of silence af Radnor Lake, the noise of the birds and squirrels in the woods and  hugely through the occasional bickering and MANY moments of family gut-laughing.

I count my blessings today.   I may be living in a cramped apartment, missing teaching women's Bible classes and working with Youth, and lonely for new friendships, but I am so incredibly blessed by my God.  He shows Himself to me if only I choose to see Him.  No matter what the circumstances.  

Settled?  Well, yes in the physical sort of way.   Mentally and emotionally, um....almost.   We are getting there.   This move worked out so perfectly and was smooth in so many aspects, yet I feel an underlying current of "disconnect" and a sense of not quite knowing where we belong.   God is working mightily, yet I still am a little "out of sorts".   I am sure this is normal, yet want to feel rooted.   Yet, being rooted takes much time and that is something we have not had yet.   But, it will come.   We will root and we will grow and with God's grace we will thrive here.

"He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit."   Jeremiah 17:8

I was at a ministry luncheon meeting yesterday afternoon and an older pastor there told me to try something out.  He asked me to pull out a measuring tape to full length and plot out where I was on the tape in regards to my age with the end of the tape being the end of my life.  He uses this technique to encourage people to see how much longer they may have left to live; and, therefore, to encourage them to GET ON IT.   Do what God has called you to do.  Don't hesitate!

I must admit that I came home and tried it out.  After I got over the initial shock, it really did encourage me to LIVE.   Try it out - see what you think.  ;)

It's Football Time in Tennessee

This time of year always does, and always will, remind me of my brother.   Some of my most favorite memories are watching UT games with him or talking "play-by-play" with him over the phone during the games.   I know if God gives us our favorite-colored mansion in heaven, that Jeff's is orange.

Here's to another season of Volunteer football and to the fourth football season without my brother.  Here's to singing "Good 'ole Rocky Top" and here's to another season of growing past the grief and growing deeper and deeper spiritually.

And here's to you Jeff - It's Football Time in Tennessee!  And "give. them. six.!"

James Franklin Shields, Jr.

So, this weekend I realized I have to go back......

back to these precious children who touched my family's heart so much!

Pine Ridge 2010 - click here.  :)

Life is Good!

Quick update from the Brown House -

Love my job!  Getting paid to help feed and clothe people everyday is pretty darn cool.  :)

Kids are adjusting VERY well to school and new area.  They miss their friends back home, but I think they love being back in Nashville very much.

Apartment life is very challenging but also very simplifying.   I have definitely learned to use space to the best of my ability and its potential.  :/

Chris - working hard as usual - I am blessed.

Melissa - so happy to be back near family and longing to meet some new friends and foster some intentional Christian community.  Blessed to be part of Crosspoint North!

Chris and Melissa - started Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace and are on week 2.  Trying to save $1000 as quickly as possible for our emergency fund.  

Oh, yeah and we got finally got a Mac - see pic below!  :)