Does It Really Work?

For the past two months I have been reading over and through, and back over again, Ann Voskamp's book one thousand gifts.  

Giving thanks in all circumstances.  Searching out 1000 things to give thanks for.  Then finding more. 

It works.  As I have dealt with the loneliness for new friendships since our move, endure the neverending  drama of three teenagers, try and handle living life in an apartment, and mostly miss my husband as he travels so much this time of year, I have found that YES, it does work.  It's quite simple.  It is also everything I grew up learning from my parents - give thanks.  I am by nature a thanks giver, yet this determined act of giving thanks for at least three things each day is slowly causing a soul shift.  You see, the more I give thanks, the more things I find to give thanks for. 

1.   Three beautiful and awesome teenagers.
2.   A husband who runs all the grocery errands.
3.   The clouds in the sky today all melded together in oranges, and yellows and even blues.

Try it - I dare you!

So, I went to Haiti.....

It was comical.  Really.  Not kidding.

The week before I left for Haiti here is what happened - Biopsies for cervical cancer the day before I flew out, my car died ($1000.00 in repairs) and when we filed our taxes we found out someone had stolen my SSN and already filed a tax return in my name.   As you can imagine, I was mentally and spiritually exhausted.  I had never gone into a mission trip that way.  Yet, I thought I was "fine" and everything was just "okay".

Haiti was amazing.  It is impossible for me to explain to you the experience I had there.  The children, the school, the market, the "family" of people that were serving with me - all such an incredible experience.    Yet, I came back feeling defeated.  I wasn't a good witness.  I was not the "ball of fire" for Jesus that I wanted to be.

I did the physical labor and I think I did it well, but I was so spiritually dead the entire time, that I fell under attack.  I hope there are those of you who understand what I am trying to say.  The mission was accomplished, but I did not grow nor did I positively affect those around me.

And so, guess what?  God is good - and I came out the other side of this trip stronger.  

Just because I was on a mission trip did not mean I was a spiritual superhero - quite the opposite.  I learned that I am weak and He is strong.  I learned that His mercies are new every day and ultimately I learned that my call to missions still is strong and that this trip was a time for me to grow and learn.

Thank you all SO much for your prayers and support.  It was a chance of a lifetime and I we are now sponsoring a little boy there.  His name is Davidson.  Please pray for him.

I love you all and I love that God is a God of second chances.

Here are some photos:  Haiti 2012.

Also, there are some great photos of this trip on my Facebook Page - Melissa Shields Brown.

Love to you all!!!  Melissa

First Snow Day of the Year

Here is what the girls and I did this afternoon.  I get a little weepy thinking about how Jacob doesn't bake with us anymore.  He is 16 you know and much to old to do such things!  ;)   What a joy to spend a few hours with my amazing daughters making some snow day treats.  Click below and you shall see:

Monkey Bread and Butter Mints

As I gear up for my trip to Haiti, I am trying to clear my head of many of the things that have been consuming my time and energy for the last few weeks, months, geez - years!  (Good luck with that, right?)   I am fervently trying to just focus on the upcoming opportunity to help at the school in Fond-des-Blancs and let myself truly receive the experience.   So, with that being said, I am not worrying about finances, when we will find a house, how the kids are going to eventually adjust to this move, and all the changes I want to make in my life.  Instead I just want to sit back and watch, enjoy, experience, and feel.  And that's exactly what I am going to do.

Well, the hubby is traveling.  I pushed the kids out the door to youth and finally have some quiet time to myself.  (insert sounds of happiness here)


I have been putting some thought into my One Word for this year and believe that I may need to focus more on contentment than consistency.  Well, to be honest I need to focus on both.  Yet, it seems that the Lord is speaking to me lately to find contentment in certain things, such as my marriage and my finances.  NOT complacency.  No, the two are very different things.  I do not believe we are ever to be complacent, but I do believe we all need to seek contentment in certain areas of our lives.  In this culture, it is very hard thing to learn to be content.  We are constantly bombarded with things that will supposedly make us healthier, wealthier, skinner, prettier and ultimately happier.   Contentment is hard to find.  Yet this year I will choose to seek it out, search for it, hunger for it and hopefully learn how to live in it.  

One Word 2012

Consistency - "The achievement of a level of performance that does not vary greatly in quality over time."

My one word for 2012 is CONSISTENCY.  This is something I struggle with in so many areas of my life.  Maybe it is my "ADD" characteristics, but I am notorious for starting something strong and finishing it fairly weak.  This year I want to focus on consistency in my habits, my relationships and definitely my parenting.     It seems overwhelming for me to think about being consistent, since I am 41 and have not conquered it yet.  But, my God is a faithful God and I know He will give me the power to at least make a little progress in this area this year.  

Instead of making a New Year's Resolution, want to choose a New Year Word?  If so, my friend Alece's link is shown below.  Give it some thought, pick a word and go for it!!  :)

One Word 365

Prayer for 2012

Cross Point Church has a prayer for all of its campuses this year.   This morning, I chose to make it my personal prayer for 2012.

"God change us.  God grow us.  God connect us."

That about sums it up, huh?   Can't think of much more I would ask of God this year.  It is my heart's desire - all three.

God change me - change my bad habits, my bad attitude, my selfishness, etc.
God grow me - grow my faith, my knowledge of you, my marriage, my mothering.
God connect us - bless me and my children with godly friendships, connect us with our church family and knit me closer to my husband and children.

What is your prayer for 2012?

My Flesh vs. My Desire to Please God

Romans 7:15
I don't really understand myself, for I want to what is right, but I don't do it.  Instead, I do what I hate.  

This is a verse I have ruminated on quite a bit throughout the course of my life.  It convicts and haunts me because I feel like much of my life has been spent living out this verse.   I wonder quite often what it could have been Paul did that he hated.  I know the things I do that I hate - getting aggravated and yelling at my children, time spent resenting my husband for all his time on the road, taking steps backwards in my faith when all I want to do is take steps forward.  Then there are things like becoming impatient with people at work or impatient when people's conversations take longer than I want them too.  The problem is this, these seemingly small things end up breeding bigger things.   Trust me.

This is why it is so important to daily take our junk to the cross.   Take it there and leave it there.  It seems lately that I have been wanting to hang on to my junk and I HATE when I get to that point.  I hate when I get to the point that I think my junk it too much for Jesus.  Do you have junk you think is too much for Jesus?  I know I do.  But, reality my friend is this. Nothing is too big for our Saviour!  Cry out to Him.  Find someone to share your burden with.  He loves you and cares for you.  This I know. 

Fear

Pete (our pastor) delivered a wonderful message this morning on "Fear" (crosspoint.tv)  It was so interesting to find out that the only two fears we are actually born with are the fear of falling and the fear of noises.  It seems that all of our other fears are fears that are "learned" or that we are conditioned to. 

As I meditated on fear and how we are likely to stay inside our comfort zones, it really hit home with me that I am this way with my marriage.  After 20 years of togetherness, it is easy to build up walls between each other and I realized that I am scared most of the time to let those walls down.  Opening up and allowing myself to be vulnerable to someone I have known over half my life shouldn't be that scary, yet it is. 

I am not afraid to parasail, jet ski, ride on motorcycles or fly overseas to a country I have never been to, but am afraid of opening my heart up sometimes.   It doesn't seem logical, yet it is a fear and one that I need to have enough faith to overcome. 

What are your fears?

Serving Haiti

I have an amazing opportunity to serve this coming February in Fond-des-Blanc, Haiti.  John Lovelace (a friend and one of my personal heroes) put me in contact with a group of people who are going to to Fond-des-Blanc to help work on a school building.  After putting me in contact with the group, he then pledged money to help send me.  :)   After putting much thought and prayer into it, my boss then told me she wanted to pledge some money to help me go.  Then another individual pledged more money and then another.  SO, I decided to go to an informational meeting about the trip last night (which was exciting, sort of scary in regards to aspects of the trip, but all in all, the deciding factor for me to take a step out in faith and GO.)  So, after I raise the rest of my money to go (approximately $500), I will be leaving February 8th to head to Haiti!   Exciting, scary, and a little overwhelming.  Everyone who knows me knows that my heart is in missions and so this is a very happy and humbling opportunity for me.   If you are interested in helping me make my way to Haiti this February, please message me and I will give you more information as to the aspect of the trip.   Love and blessings to all ~  Melissa