The Coma and a Vessel of Mercy

The past 6 weeks have held MANY challenges for my father, my family and myself.  In order to spare you all the details, let's just start with "my dad had a bad fall" and go from there.  After the fall he had to undergo surgery on his brain in order to release a build up of fluid and blood.  This is a fairly common surgery performed by neurologists and we knew he would spend a few days in the hospital, but NEVER did we expect what actually happened.  We took my Dad to the hospital, spent some time in the pre-op dressing room joking around with him and praying over him and told him "bye" as he headed off for surgery.   We met him in a room after recovery and talked to him a bit and decided to leave the hospital for him to get some rest.   This is when our world as we knew it turned upside down.

My dad suffered post-operative seizures that left him in a coma for 10 days.   He developed pneumonia during that time and had to be placed on a ventilator in order to get adequate oxygen to his lungs for healing.  The outlook was bleak in our eyes, although the neurologist kept telling us to pray and that he was optimistic.  So pray we did and I mean we PRAYED!!

On day 9 of my dad being unconscious, they began to talk to us about the possibility of a feeding tube and performing a tracheotomy.  My sister and I discussed the issues and decided that a feeding tube was not an option and I prepared myself for the worst, for you see I had already been down this road with my brother and it was long, hard, dark and ended in having to tell my brother goodbye.  

Day 10:  I walked into ICU to talk with the nurses and physicians and see my Dad.   Imagine my surprise when I got into the ICU unit and my Dad's nurse said "your dad is waking up.  His eyes are open."  And, she wasn't kidding.  My dad was waking up and not only waking up, but trying to talk and pull his ventilator tube out.  PRAISE GOD doesn't even capture the joy I felt - as a matter of fact, I don't think I would be able to put into words the way my heart and soul felt at that moment and the moments following when I was there to watch my Dad come back around.  

But, this isn't even the most amazing part.  The most amazing part was my Dad's telling Chris and I (and the next day telling my sister and her family) that he had been in heaven.   He had seen my Mother and he had seen Jeff.  He had been there with them........and that my friends is where my story of healing begins.   I hope to be able to put into words the way God used that experience to heal a huge hole in my heart.  I pray I will be able to verbalize it in a way I can share with those around me.  I want to testify to God's grace and mercy in my life and also in the life of my family through this entire experience.   So, for now, let's just say this story is to be continued............

I Never Win Anything!

Wanted to share a great post by my friend Julie this morning.  Once, again I PLAN on getting back to blogging soon.  I have a LOT to share, trust me.  God has been showing me so much - He is good that way!   :)    But, for now, please read Julie's post from today.  So challenging and true.........

His Love Extended Ministries

It is Definitely Starting to Look a Lot Like Christmas!

I FINALLY have my decorations and tree up for Christmas.  Not we just have to trim the tree and we will be done!

I have been very spending a lot of time this year thinking about how much time, energy and money we can put into Christmas decorating, shopping, etc., and how biblical all of it really is.    Don't get me wrong, I LOVE Christmas and I certainly love celebrating the birth of my Saviour, but I have really been contemplating on how our family spends our Christmas this year.   We have always tried to give a lot of our time and resources  at Christmas to those less fortunate, but this year it just still doesn't seem to be enough to me.   If we are buying more for ourselves and our kids than we are giving away to others - especially giving the news of our Savior's birth, then are we really doing what Jesus would have us do?   Just something to think on this year.   It is so easy to fall into the commercialism of Christmas, but this year I think we will just slow down, enjoy time with friends and family and not worry so much what the decorations look like or how much we spend.   I think we will try and get back to the basics.    How 'bout you?

"If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth." 1 John 3:17-18

Great Expectations!

Within 24 hours of committing to start blogging again, I had two job interviews, a job offer and a very bad cold!   (Oh and let's not forget Chris' 40th birthday and Thanksgiving!)   Needless to say, this is my first post in a week.   Such is life......    

But I did did want to jump on here quickly and post a few things I am so incredibly grateful for this year:

A husband who loves me and three healthy, good kids!  :)
A new job that I love!
A sister, brother-in-law, nieces and nephew who are preparing the Thanksgiving feast!
My dad living here in Winchester with us.
New friends and old ones too.
A roof over my head, shoes on my feet and food to eat.

And this year I am especially am thankful for "contentment".  

Praying all of you feel peace and contentment in your hearts as you gather around your Thanksgiving tables tomorrow.  Praying that you take every moment of it in - relish the smiles, the smells of yummy food and the laughter shared with those you love.  Praying that you feel much gratitude in your hearts!    Love and a big fat hug, Melissa

Letting Go of the Wheel.

not sure if you have ever had the experience of teaching a child to drive, but i have.  it is one of the most challenging things I have been through in my life, honestly.  In a nutshell, it is called "letting go of the wheel".

jacob drove himself to school this morning (as usual).   i was sitting in the passenger seat trying not to overreact at his every move, and it hit me that this was such a perfect example of my relationship with Christ.

we say that we are going to give God control, but the honestly, do we?   no.   most of the time we sit in the passenger seat saying "slow down" or "speed up" or "don't get too close to that car".   of course, we do this in order to protect ourselves or others.   but, ultimately not we aren't trusting the Driver.

there is a crazy point you reach in your journey with Christ where you have to let go of the wheel.   it is hard.   it might put you in danger and you might crash.  but, the point is, do you trust the Driver?

Repost from June 2010

FRIDAY, JUNE 4, 2010

The Brevity

Some of you know my story, some of you don't.  But it occurred to me this morning that it is really good for us to look back sometimes at where we have been so that we can reevaluate where we are headed.  I also believe it is good cleansing for the soul to share where we have been and the things we have dealt with in life.  So, with that said, let me give you some background.  I was raised in Chattanooga, TN by my stay-at-home Mom and Army serving Dad.   My parents sacrificed a lot so that I would be able to attend Christian schools and I am so fortunate for that.   My brother and sister were 12 and 10 years older than me and I was the "baby" of the family.  From the time that I can remember, I always felt SO much love in my heart for others.  I remember thinking that I wasn't normal because I loved people with such a fierce passion.  I was also very insecure, due to many different reasons and this eventually led to my "falling in with the bad crowd" during high school.   I was a people pleaser and I loved to make people laugh - I wanted them to like me.

When I was 20 years old my Mother suffered a massive heart attack and died.   My world was blown apart.  I was devastated.   We weren't on the best terms when she passed away and this obviously was a crucial point in my life that defined me.......shaped me.  I was angry with God and I walked away from Him completely.

Fast forward 5 years and my first child was born.  I don't know why, but it has been my observation through the years that the birth of a child brings many "prodigals" back home to Christ.  And that is exactly what happened with me.  I wanted Christ again, I wanted Him for my children.

Three years ago, my brother (an alcoholic) suffered a fall that left him quadriplegic.  He lived in Chattanooga and at this point we were living here in Winchester and thus started an almost year-long process of driving back and forth to try and make sure he was receiving adequate care, etc.  It was excruciating.  I loved my brother dearly.  He had such a sweet heart, but let his addiction rule his words quite often, but God gave me the eyes to always see his heart and not his actions.   In 2008 we received a call that my brother had choked while in the nursing home he had just been moved to.   He had to be airlifted from that facility to downtown Chattanooga and as a result was without oxygen for over 20 minutes.  We rushed to Chattanooga and our family had to make the decision to take him off of life support.  As his caregiver, I had to sign the papers to do so.   Once again, life changing......life shaping.   I held his hand as he died and as he slipped away I wondered once again - "why God?".    So, I decided to seek Christ like I had never sought Him before.  If God really did love me like his own child then I wanted to know him more about Him, figure out what I believed and get some healing.

And this is why I share this very brief version of my 40 years here on earth - God is good!  He IS faithful.  He can heal you heart.  He can make you whole.  He has done it for me - I am living proof.  I am a testimony of His love.    Is my life perfect? - well, heck no!  Do I still struggle with sin and disbelief? - well, yeah!  But I have a peace.  A peace and joy that surpasses all understanding.   And learning about and getting to know my God has brought me to places I thought I would never be.  Like taking seminary classes and doing mission trips.   I guarantee you no one thought that was where this girl has headed!

So my question for you is this?  Have you given God a try?  Have you read His Word and tried him out?  If so, why not?  What would it hurt?  For you see, this life is brief.  The brevity of it is overwhelming, trust me I have lived it.

So it fell by the wayside.....

My blogging has absolutely fallen to the wayside this year.   Just one of those seasons where blogging had to take backseat to my family, service in the Church and my jobs.   But, I am determined to start gearing up for another year of blog-madness.   I would really love to be able to start writing devotionals again and help come along women and encourage them in their walk with Christ.  One thing I have learned this year ( that I knew in my head but had not completely settled into my heart ) is that God really honestly never does waste a hurt!  Those of you who have faithfully followed my blog have seen me write about taking care of and eventually losing my brother, watched me battle with bouts of depression at times, stood along beside me as I felt God's call for me to ministry and then ultimately, this year, try to discern where in the world He wants to use me.   Well, guess what?   I am pretty sure he wants to use me right where I am at.  :)   It isn't difficult.  I think what is difficult for me is that I love serving in so many different capacities and I have to decide on one and stick with it.   So, please join with me in prayer as I get "settled in my skin" about God using me where He has planted me for right now.   I ask you to bear with me as I start getting back into the practice of daily (or maybe bi-daily) blogging and would love for you send me ideas or feedback.   Love to you all and I can't wait to see where 2011 takes us all!


John 3: 16-17  "This is how much God loved the world: He gave his Son, his one and only Son. And this is why: so that no one need be destroyed; by believing in him, anyone can have a whole and lasting life. God didn't go to all the trouble of sending his Son merely to point an accusing finger, telling the world how bad it was. He came to help, to put the world right again.

Passing along, Jesus saw a man at his work collecting taxes. His name was Matthew. Jesus said, "Come along with me." Matthew stood up and followed him.

Later when Jesus was eating supper at Matthew's house with his close followers, a lot of disreputable characters came and joined them. When the Pharisees saw him keeping this kind of company, they had a fit, and lit into Jesus' followers. "What kind of example is this from your Teacher, acting cozy with crooks and riffraff?" Jesus, overhearing, shot back, "Who needs a doctor: the healthy or the sick? Go figure out what this Scripture means: 'I'm after mercy, not religion.' I'm here to invite outsiders, not coddle insiders."   Matthew 9: 9-13

  

Respost from September 2007 - Sacred Marriage

I am reading a wonderful book titled "Sacred Marriage" by Gary Thomas. I highly recommend it. It is very well written and a fairly easy read. I wanted to share an excerpt with you this morning. 

"One of the best wedding gifts God gave you was a full-length mirror called your spouse. Had there been a card attached, it would have read "Here's to helping you discover what you are really like." quote by Gary and Betsy Ricucci.

"What is humility? Fenelon tells us "It is a certain honesty and childlike willingness to acknowledge our faults, to recover from them and to submit to the advice of experienced people; these will be solid useful virtues, adapted to your sanctification." We must not enter marriage predominantly to be fulfilled, emotionally satisfied or romantically charged , but rather to become more like Jesus Christ. We must embrace the reality of having our flaws exposed to our partner, and thereby having them exposed to us as well. Sin never seems quite as shocking when it is known only to us; when we see how it looks or sounds to another it is magnified ten times over. The single or celibate can "hide" frustration by removing himself or herself from the situation, but the married man or women has no true refuge. It is hard to hide when you share the same bed.."

Isn't that the truth? We all are sinful creatures, but tend in marriage to point the finger or get into a pattern of blaming our partner. We should first examine ourselves and see where our own sin lies. Whether it be a critical spirit, an angry heart, addiction, etc., we need to first focus on our own sin and repentance because our job is to become more like Christ. We are not in control of our partners' behavior. We are ultimately only responsible for ourselves when we stand before Christ on judgment day. Trust me, I lived the life of blaming another for many years. Guess what, it didn't change anything. Maybe the problem lies within ourselves.......

Just a little humor.

Mildred, the church gossip, and self-appointed monitor of the church's morals, kept sticking her nose into other people's business….

Several members did not approve of her extra curricular activities , but feared her enough to maintain their silence…

She made a mistake, however, when she accused Frank, a new member, of being an alcoholic after she saw his old pickup parked in front of the town's
only bar one afternoon...

She emphatically told Frank (and several others) that everyone seeing it there
WOULD KNOW WHAT HE WAS DOING!

Frank , a man of few words, stared at her for a moment and just turned and walked away…

He didn't explain, defend, or deny…

He said nothing….

Later that evening, Frank quietly parked his pickup in front of Mildred's house ...

walked home

.....and left it there all night !!!