What do I do with myself????

Is this what normal life is really like? I completely believe that during the last year I have become addicted to busyness, drama, and crazy-paced living.

I found myself looking for something to do last night (imagine that!) and realized that it has been almost year since I have been on the treadmill (as anyone who knows me can tell). Exercising used to be the one thing I did every day no matter what! At times in my life, it has been the only thing to keep me sane. So, I laced up my tennis shoes and jumped back on.

My point - I had no idea how crazy my life had become until I have had the chance to slow down the past few weeks. Also, I believe any time a person experiences death, it causes them to slow down in some ways. It makes you appreciate life a little more even if you are not consciously trying to.

Basically, stress had become my best friend - attached itself to me like a leech and I didn't even know it. Now, I feel lost without it. Sounds strange I know, but true. Now, I have to try and remember what a normal day is like and go from there. So, after work I will hit the treadmill, do homework with the kids and go to church and I will move forward step by step - choosing to remember the good memories of my brother and his life. Life is what you make it and I choose to remember the good and keep marching on.............

Love to all,

Melissa

THANK GOODNESS FOR WARM WEATHER!

Gorgeous day here in Winchester, TN! 72 degrees and sunny......

Here is a quote I wanted to share out of my devotion this morning....

"What Satan and others mean for evil in our lives, God would never allow unless it could be used for good and for the delivering of our lives. The family is a crucial intitution. It affects everyone, for good or ill. By its very nature, it can be the place where one experiences and learns intimacy, love and growth or it can be the place where one experiences and learns resentment, abuse and destructive behavior."

Basically, whatever happened to us growing up or has happened now within our families can be used for good or better yet to heal us if we let it. This really hit home with me because of my brother's death and also with dealing with his alcoholism. I think I could have easily gone down the same path had it not been for watching my brother all these years.

Nevertheless, I guess my point is that no matter what family issues you are dealing with, God will work it out for good if you believe in Him and follow his Word. That's an awesome thought if we can just keep reminding ourselves of it. God is good!

Back Where I Started - Literally :)

I am back working at Christ The King part-time and am SO glad to be here. Thankfully, they had not hired anyone and was able to come back when I realized that working for the place that had hired me was definitely NOT going to work out. We are looking forward to a relaxing weekend working around the house and having friends come down from Nashville to help us out. We hired out the rest of the drywalling to be done and now just have to trim out and paint. Thank goodness it is almost over. We are completely dead flat broke, but it is finally finished.

We are continuing to pray for a way to pay our upcoming taxes, but we know that God is faithful and that He will provide. I also need to find a way to make an extra $400 a month, so I am praying that something presents itself in order for us to bring in that amount. I wish everyone a fun-filled weekend and can't wait to show off the kids' rooms upstairs!

Love,

Melissa

30-Hour Famine

Wow. What an awesome experience I had this weekend with the Youth Group at our church. We participated in World Vision's 30-Hour Famine and we raised around $3200.00 for children across the world who are in need.

Let me tell you that these kids are incredible. They didn't complain. The did not eat for 30 hours, they participated in service activities for the church and collected food for those in need. They participated in all the activities we had planned and they kept my mind off of the death of my brother which would have just kept me in bed all weekend. I saw some wonderful hearts in these kids and it just made me want to grow closer to them and to Him.

Even Abby and Emma participated in their own little fast from 9:00 p.m. last night until 6:30 p.m. this evening. Let this be a lesson that we CAN follow Jesus' example of fasting. If these kids can do it (and my 9 year old can do it) then WE can do it....... Melissa

The Emptiness

We are back in Winchester, my brother is buried and I am in that state of "what do I do next"? I remember feeling this way when my mother died suddenly, but I was so young that I didn't really let myself feel all the emotions that go along with the death of someone so incredibly close to my heart. The feelings of knowing he will never call again...... I will never call him again. What do I do with his email address on my computer? What do I do with his phone number contact on my cell phone? This last year has been such a state of busyness for me as far as making sure Jeff was provided decent healthcare, dealing with his insurance, etc., that I never really let myself truly prepare for his death. And now here I am, staring at my computer realizing that my truest blog fan will never read it again. Knowing that I will never hear "calm down girl! You take things too seriously, relax......" My brother was a lost and troubled soul for so many of his last years. Why? Why do some people have absolutely no power over their addictions, while others can put something down and never pick it back up? My brother did not want to be what he had become, yet he could not beat it. He tried, he just couldn't win the battle.

To all those who went to such great efforts to call, send cards, flowers and especially to my dearest of friends who drove from Winchester, Nashville, etc. to be there for me - THANK YOU. I LOVE YOU. I have dealt with so much tragedy in my life that I really think sometimes I won't make it through another day, the then I get up, thank the Lord for giving me another day and push on. I have the only true strength anyone can ever have - the strength of my Father in heaven who knows the purpose he has for me and who sees what I can't. Please pray for me in the next few days that I can rest in His arms and feel His peace.

A wonderful session musician and bluegrass phenomenon by the name of Rick Hargis came from Nashville to play at my brother's funeral. After the 21 gun salute and presentation of the flag to my father, the minister spoke and then we got to hear the two songs my brother always told me he wanted at his funeral - Amazing Grace and Will the Circle Be UnBroken. And then of course, in true Jeff fashion we dismissed with Rocky Top being played on Banjo and I could literally feel my brother smiling down on us.

Love to all and don't take any day for granted!

Melissa

Obit

Here is my brother's obituary.

http://www.chattanoogan.com/articles/article_122146.asp


Melissa

James Franklin Shields, Jr. 1958-2008

Our family made the decision to take my brother's tube out last night and I was with him holding his hand as he passed away. Chris and I along with a cousin and his wife had the privilege of being with him when he ended his long battle here on this earth. It was a very peaceful death. After taking out the tube he lasted somewhere around an hour breathing on his own and passed away at 9:12 p.m. and the look on his face was one of such pure peace that I know the right decision was made. Please pray for my father and sister and my brother's ex-wife Cindy. We are on our way to the funeral home to make arrangements and I will post the time and date of funeral as soon as I know something.

Here's to you big brother! You never met a stranger and you loved everyone with such passion. Rest in peace. I love you!

Melissa

I had a bad day and here is all I have to say....

http://www.theinterviewwithgod.com/viewmovie.html

Big Change

Starting next week, I am going to be going back to work full-time. I was just incurring too many taxes working from home. When we visited our accountant he emphasized the fact that I REALLY need to either diligently put back taxes every quarter or go back to work outside of the home. You see, I not only pay normal taxes, but self-employment tax on top of that.

So, we shall see how we all make the adjustment next week. It should be very interesting. Jacob will be riding the bus more and I have to find Abby and Emma a ride home in the afternoons. I think Abby may seriously have a meltdown, but she'll just have to get over it. Jacob doesn't really mind and Emma is just excited that I get to work in a doctor's office. I can't even begin to think about the summer! Oh well, people do this everyday right? But do they do this with three kids and a husband who is gone 2-3 nights out of the week? I am sure they do......

Chris is in Louisville Kentucky today and drove straight into snow and an impending ice storm. Hopefully he won't get stuck there!!!! He will be gone until Thursday evening.

I think I can, I know I can, I think I can, I know I can..........

Love and blessings,

Melissa

The Refiner

Malachi 3:3 says: "He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver."


This verse puzzled some women in a Bible study and they wondered what this statement meant about the character and nature of God.


One of the women offered to find out the process of refining silver and get back to the group at their next Bible Study.


That week, the woman called a silversmith and made an appointment to watch him at work. She didn't mention anything about the reason for her interest beyond her curiosity about the process of refining Silver.

As she watched the silversmith, he held a piece of silver over the fire and let it heat up. He explained that in refining silver, one needed to hold the silver in the middle of the fire where the flames were hottest as to burn away all the impurities.

The woman thought about God holding us in such a hot spot; then she thought again about the verse that says: "He sits as a refiner and purifier of silver." She asked the silversmith if it was true that he had to sit there in front of the fire the whole time the silver was being refined.

The man answered that yes, he not only had to sit there holding the silver, but he had to keep his eyes on the silver the entire time it was in the fire. If the silver was left a moment too long in the flames, it would be destroyed.

The woman was silent for a moment. Then she asked the silversmith, "How do you know when the silver is fully refined?"

He smiled at her and answered, "Oh, that's easy -- when I see my image in it."

If today you are feeling the heat of the fire , remember that God has his eye on you and will keep watching you until He sees His image in you.